One Secret to Reduce your Worry, Stress and Anxiety Levels and Increase Self-Esteem

What if I promise you that there is a quick and easy way to reduce your daily stress and anxiety levels significantly? What if I tell you that this same technique also increases your self-esteem. The technique will just depend on yourself, without the need to buy drugs,  go to therapy or even, change your lifestyle. Would you believe me?

I’m going to reveal you a secret that many people already use, mostly in Eastern societies (including Zen masters), that does wonders for your well-being. I’ll show you this technique that you can do by yourself, which can increase your quality of life and your overall happiness, substantially.

This method I’m going to show you cannot guarantee 100% elimination of stress and anxiety. However I promise you that if you practice it every time you get a surge of anxiety or stress you will reduce these negative emotions significantly and, with time, you will raise your self-esteem further and further.

But before I reveal you the technique, I think it’s important for you to understand why it works. So let me start by talking to you about our primitive ancestors.

Our Ancestor’s Times were Wild and Hard

On those primitive days, on the dawn of mankind (the time of modern humans), some 10.000 to 200.000 years ago, life was completely different from it is now. Life was harder. Humans had predators. We lived in rudimentary shelters, mostly in caves. Agriculture was not yet invented and so we guaranteed our survival on a daily basis, mostly through hunting.

To hunt we risked our lives. We chased animals for food, while at the same time we ran away from predators. We needed to be very strict and practical; we needed to be very sure about our odds of survival. Staying alive was the first and only concern of humans back then, and to stay alive you would need strong and strict mechanisms to help you assess danger in every decision you made.

Why am I telling you all this? Well, today, as I promised above, I want to talk to you about an effective way to reduce your stress and anxiety levels and to increase self-esteem. I’m telling you all this about our ancestors so that you understand that we are not that different from them, biologically, as you may think.

Sure, we have better tools,  better knowledge and much better technology, but biologically we are almost 100% identical. Our brain has not evolved much since those times; it didn’t keep up with the pace of technology or the evolution of our way of life. So, we are in a situation where our brains are no longer up to date with our time.

And this is the reason why we have more stress and anxiety in our daily lives and why this technique really works. Let me continue to explain to you why.

The Brain is Specialized in Negative Thoughts

Back in those primitive days,  the brain needed to be constantly vigilant, telling us all the time to “watch out”, “to be careful”, “to be alert”, to constantly compare ourselves to others.

For instance, when humans decided to go to some new place or to do something different, like start hunting a different animal or start hunting in a different place, the brain would be constantly saying to our ancestors: “stay out of trouble”, “you are going to get killed”, “you are going to be expelled from the group”, “you have stupid ideas and make bad decisions and you will die”.

These were very effective and useful thoughts back on those days because the brain played it hard and safe. Humans obeyed their brains and they thought twice before making decisions. This assured fewer humans would die because they would be facing less danger. So, the evolution of the brain specialized in providing constant negative feedback. That assured that humans were less prone  to change their way of life, to leave their comfort zones and so they had better chances of survival.

The catch in all this is that the human brain still thinks in terms of those primitive times and so, it still reacts according to those times’ circumstances.

So does this all mean that we are trapped with this unfortunate way of thinking forever? By being so negative, is the brain holding us back? In these modern days, these overly negative ways of thinking do not make much sense anymore.

So, what can we do? Let me show you the part of our brain that clearly did not keep up the pace. Please bear with me.

We Are Not What We Think

Our brain has a mechanism that allows us to have thoughts, memories, emotions and perceptions. This mechanism is vulgarly called “The Mind”. Unfortunately, the mind is the part of the brain that has specialized in all the negative aspects. The mind excels in providing you with bad thoughts that keep you from doing what you desire. Many times these negative thoughts make you feel miserable. But let me tell you a little secret about the mind. You are not it!

There is another mechanism inside your head besides the mind. A vigilant entity known, in some Eastern cultures, as the “Observer Self” or the “Real Self”.

Everything that is happening in your conscious self is a constant interaction and, many times, a fight between these two entities: the mind and the observer self. We already talked about the mind. Now, what about the observer? What is it?

The observer self has a different and higher brain function than the mind. The function of the observer self is to focus and to be aware. To watch everything that is happening outside and inside your body. It does this with detachment, without judging, without provoking emotions and, most importantly, it does this 100% consciously. Let me give you some examples of how you can identify if you’re utilizing your observer self.

When you decide to be alert, when you decide to feel what is happening around you, you are using the observer self part of the brain. It is a much less used part of our brain, one that we all must start using more and more if we want to be more in control of our lives. When you feel in “auto” mode, reacting, thinking, doing 100% what your minds tells you to do, then  you are using your mind. If you are in “manual” mode, deciding what to do consciously, doing (not reacting), thinking, but not judging, nor agreeing with everything the minds tells you, you are using the observer self.

Many times the mind will tell you: “you are not good enough”, “you are not competent”, “you are a loser”, “you are going to get killed”. You must stop for a second and use your observer self to analyze what the mind is telling you (you see, the mind is telling you – so there is another you). What the mind tells you is not to be taken literally. What it says is not necessarily useful, and most of the times, the mind isn’t right. The mind is just doing its primitive job of alerting you, of detracting you from doing something out of the ordinary.

So this is all nice to know, but how can I reduce my anxiety and stress? After all, that’s why you’re reading this article right?

So, Just Tell Me How I Can Reduce My Anxiety and Stress Levels?

The secret is to stop listening to your mind. The secret is to stop giving it your full attention. To stop acknowledging it and agreeing with it. Since most of what the mind tells you is wrong, exaggerated, distorted, false, negative and, most of the times, not helpful, you can reduce your anxiety and stress levels just by not listening to what the mind is saying.

The Mind is constantly speaking to you, giving you feedback (mostly negative) on everything you do, especially if it is something out of the ordinary. Examples of situations that trigger negative thoughts from the mind:

• When you meet new people
• When you have a meeting or you’re going to speak publicly
• When you receive an important phone call
• When your boss wants to see you in her/his office
• When someone criticises you
• When you’re having difficulties in your daily work
• When you make decisions

When the mind tells you “you are going to fail”, “nobody likes you”, “you’re a bad parent”, “you’re going to ridicule yourself”, “you’re incompetent”, “you make bad decisions” or “you’re going to get fired”, stop for a second and realize that those negative thoughts are just that, thoughts. You realize that most of the mind’s thoughts are not true and most of them are future assessments and projections with no factual basis. They don’t mean anything; they are not true only by themselves. They are only true if you listen to them, if you accept them.

So listening, and believing in your negative thoughts is a bad way to live your life, because eventually you may in fact become what the mind tells you, unnecessarily. The mind is simply a bad advisor. Not everything it tells you is bad, but i’ll wager, that the majority of what  it says is meaningless, false and unnecessary.

This is easier said than done, you may say. How do I do that? How can I stop listening and acknowledging the mind and feel more free and less anxious? So finally here is the technique.

So How do I Stop Listening to the Mind?

When negative words (negative thoughts) emerge in your head, stuff like “you’re going to fail”, “you’re going to ridicule yourself”, “you’re not up to the challenge” or “you are inferior to that person” use the following technique.

First Step: Detect Negative and Useless Thoughts

The first step is to detect that the mind is having negative thoughts about you. Observe that it is trying to detract you from doing something, trying to put you down, to humiliate you, to give you orders. Detect the thought. Is it a negative thought? A positive thought? Is it useful? If it is useful than analyze it and accept it. If it is not useful, then proceed with the remaining steps of this technique.

Second Step: Recognize Your Mind Behind the Thought

The second thing you must do when you detect a negative and useless thought is to recognize that your mind is the one responsible for that negative thought. Say to yourself things like “There you are again Mind, saying I’m not up to the challenge”, “Ok, It’s just you Mind, I know that what you say, Mind, is not necessarily true”. This may sound silly at first but it works! Trust me.

Third Step: Don’t Fight the Negative Thought

After having detected a negative and useless thought, and realized that it is just the product of your mind, the next step is to acknowledge the thought and … do nothing! Yes nothing! Don’t react to the thought. The key for doing this right is not to confront the thought. Do not try to reason with it, because it’s a battle that you’re always going to lose. Don’t fight it or start arguing with it. It’s very important that you don’t do this.

Do this exercise anytime you recognize you’re having negative thoughts.

What About Self-Esteem?

You got it. The Mind is one of the things  responsible for lowering your self-esteem for no good reason. It’s just a dysfunction of the brain. There’s nothing wrong with you, we are all like that.

It’s ridiculous but probably 75% or more of the negative impression that you have about yourself are not facts, but simply irrational thoughts. If you have very low self-esteem, chances are that you have accepted your mind’s thoughts, that most of the times are not true and which keep lowering your self-esteem in a vicious cycle.

Surely  you have met people who you think are beautiful, others that are competent and have a nice body. Still, these people keep telling you that they feel ugly or they feel incompetent and that they are too fat or too thin. They are listening to their distorted minds. We know that it is not the truth, but the mind’s effect is very strong with those people. Most of us believe in our thoughts so much that we become prisoners of our minds.

On the other hand, people with high self-esteem deal with their thoughts better than people with low self-esteem. Maybe it’s a biological condition, who knows. They still have negative thoughts, of course, as anybody else, but they have learned, or are better equipped to don’t take themselves too seriously. They know their thoughts and so they are freer.

If you have low self-esteem, try to use this technique when you have negative thoughts about yourself. The technique will not do miracles for you, but I can bet that if you start using it more and more, you will raise your self-esteem, at least a little bit more, maybe just the necessary to free you from the vicious cycle.

Bottom Line

So now you know one secret, one technique, to reduce worry, stress and anxiety that, at the same time, raises your self-esteem a bit. I didn’t invent any of this. This is all already known by many people, especially Eastern Culture people. I accumulated this knowledge over the years by reading many books. Now, I have presented this to you so that more and more people may start improving their lives.

Now, to reduce your worries and anxiety, the only thing you need to do is to put this technique into practice and watch the results. You shouldn’t have too high expectations though. You are not going to eliminate completely or reduce your stress and anxiety instantly or definitely. The technique works better, though, if you keep using it more and more, like anything else in life.

I use this technique regularly in my daily life and it works. This is not a miracle technique and not the solution for eliminating all the stress and anxiety in your life, but it clearly will help you have a much happier and better life.

I hope you enjoyed the article. I’m confident that this information can help you. So go ahead and start having a more enjoyable and stress-free life today.

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